"Are you coming?" I felt His gentle tug on my hand as I stood frozen in a daze in front of my Lang calendar. "Yeah, just a sec. I have some things to figure out first." I mumbled. My chest began to feel its typical tight and crampy feeling when I worry and I began to brood over every penciled in commitment that seemed to overwhelm nearly every square. "Child, come." He pulled more forcefully this time and sullenly I allowed myself to be led behind him as we weaved through the living room and out to the porch.
He let go of my hand and with a gentleman's bow and a sweet smile, He pointed me to my seat on the top porch step. He sat after me and leaned in and whispered, "Watch." I took in the scene in front of me. I didn't want to hurt His feelings, but it was early Spring and the time of year I liked the least. The trees seemed dead and cursed to stillness as they reached with frozen gray, twisted arms towards the blue, cloudless sky. Nubs of cornstalks leftover from last years harvest still littered the fields and brown, crunchy leaves clung stubbornly to the edges of bare bushes and shrubs. Down right messy and ugly if you ask me. What could He possibly want to show me out here? I forced a smile, squirmed a little on the hard, porch step and with Him...... waited.
Look.........
Whiffffffffffffff. A small breath of wind gently brushed my hair back. I couldn't help but close my eyes and take in a deep breath of its sweet fragrance. The cool air filled my nostrils and lungs and it's deliciousness wiped the thoughts of my calendar and its worries from my mind. A soft nudge opened my eyes to the dance of two sparrows in flight. I sat up straighter on my step and pointed out a strange bird walking head first down our walnut tree. "What kind of bird is that?" I asked in a curious whisper. He smiled and handed me a bird book. Together we found birds I never new existed. The chubby, long- nosed Nuthatch, the sweet, soft-gray Titmouse, and the blue- headed, iridescent Grackle. My bird cast grew as new discoveries mingled with old familiars. Playfully hopping from branch to branch and gracefully gliding from tree to tree, I found their masterfully choreographed flights mesmerizing and their colorful costumes awe inspiring. The air around us filled with glorious, tantalizing song and my heart began to soar. The uncomfortable feeling in my chest from worry and fear began to ease as I relaxed in the moment and enjoyed this small breath of time sitting with Jesus. I looked to Him to thank Him for pulling me away. He put a finger to His lips to quiet me and nodded to the field in front of us.
Wait.........
The most breathtaking and thrilling sight......He saved for last. As if on cue as part of His masterful grand finale, a large figure emerged from behind a fallen log and rose into flight with only a few, strong strokes of his long, brown feathered wings. His graceful elegance and visible strength brought me to my feet. To my delight, the great bird swiftly swooped down like a seasoned stunt pilot and fearlessly flew directly in front of me. His flight spanned the entire length of the driveway and at the last minute, right before the garage door, he pulled up and climbed a steep 90 degree angle. "Encore! Encore!", I felt like cheering! With eyes dancing in excitement, I looked to the Director of this beautiful play. "Is that who I think it was?!" Satisfied at my reaction, He nodded and answered with a wink. "Beautiful, isn't he?"
See.......
Breathless, I sat back down next to my Savior. This notoriously ugly creature was indeed beautiful and he captured my heart. He knew this bird would. I couldn't take my eyes off him as he soared gracefully off into the distance as silent as a kite. "Do you see?" He put his arm around me and squeezed. With His touch, my heart began to slowly beat. With each pulse, the world around me began to awaken and stir. The trees that were once frozen and gray, stiffly stretched to life. The tightly closed buds seemed to yawn open and soon the gnarled, empty branches were filled delicate, lacy, green leaves. Life was reemerging into my dingy spring.
LOOKing into my Saviors face, I did see. I saw where I needed to keep my eyes focused..... on Him and in the "moment" that He placed me in. (Matthew 6:24) It's not easy to live "moment by moment"..... but that is where God wants me. He doesn't want me standing in front of my "calendar" chewing my nails over future events that I have no control over. Hanging out in a "what if" world hand painted in the dark and gloomy watercolors of fear and dread is living a life in the death-like slumber of early spring.
Sitting next to my Jesus living and focusing on the sweet moment He provided for me, I was finally able to fully understand David's wise words spoken in Psalm 27:14. "WAIT on the Lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord. " It's hard to wait for someone when you are in a hurry to go on ahead. Jesus wants us to "be still" in Him, (Psalm 46:10), and "KNOW" that He is in control. I can't SEE tomorrow, but He can (Jeremiah 29:11) and knowing He is there waiting to guide me through (vs. 12) gives me peace and hope that whatever season awaits, it will work for my good (Romans 8:28). With Jesus by my side, all my seasons can be like the budding spring.
"I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4
Weeks later, I got my encore. The world seemed to fall silent when my graceful vulture came back gliding from the distance to meet me again. Looking up, I wondered if he would fly close enough for me to hear the sound of the wind rushing through his feathers. I stood in breathless silence as he flew directly overhead. Looking down with his wrinkled, bald head and with two powerful pumps of his wings, he greeted me with a soft "whooshing" sound. With a content smile, I closed my eyes and thanked the Lord for always fulfilling his promises. On the wings of the vulture, he carries my fears away.
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles*; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. * vultures.... :)
Isaiah 40:31
Look.........
Wait.........
and
See.......
Actually, I've been told (by a friend who lives in Israel) that the word for "eagle" is AYIT - but the word actually used in Isaiah 40:31 is 'NESHER' or "vulture".
ReplyDelete(I've verified it in a Hebrew interlinear Bible, too!)
Beautiful post. :)
Awesome!!! Thanks, Ashley.......and thanks for reading!!!! <3
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