To Love And Cherish

"No one cares about your birthday, Mom." My nephews words rung in my ears and felt like a dagger to my heart.

"What?!"  I stewed angrily.  My sister shared with me over the phone what one of her sons had said innocently, but honestly, to her.  "Well, dog-gone it, I care!" I felt hurt and upset at the thought of my baby sister's birthday going by without notice or care. I knew this was going to be a difficult day for her, and I had a choice to make.  Make the hour drive and deliver a gift or pick out something online and have it sent... and hope and pray it gets there in time!  I went with convenience, and my husband and I sat down in front of the computer and picked out a beautiful, fall inspired bouquet of dark pink, orange and green flowers in a glass vase and a cute little birthday balloon.  We signed the online card with all of our names, pushed the send button and felt satisfied this would help make her day a special one. 

My fears came true when my sister called, on her special day, to announce nothing came.  Nothing.... meaning from us....or from anyone else in her home.  Frustrated and annoyed, I made a B-line for the laptop and immediately sent an email to the company that we ordered the flowers from that promised 24 hour shipping.  My kids stood by and listened to me vent not only about the incompetence of this online company and their broken promise but also about the insensitivity of the males in her household. Good grief!  My sister makes sure their birthdays are made special....so why shouldn't her day be any different?  While I typed out my frustrations on the keyboard, my daughter brought her little brothers upstairs and encouraged them to make their aunt a special birthday card.  It'd be a little late but her aunt needed to know she that was truly loved and cherished.

God's timing is always perfect.  Maybe He felt my sister would need these flowers more on another day....maybe He wanted my boys more involved then being just written in on a cybercard over the Internet and maybe....... the Lord felt they needed a fresh lesson in loving and cherishing.

Dad's, teach your sons.....

Loving and cherishing doesn't come naturally; sin has made us selfish creatures.  Paul teaches the importance of regarding others as more important than ourselves in Phil 2:3 and 4. Cherishing one another needs to be taught, practiced and as verse 5 goes on to say.....it needs to be kept in our minds and attitude. Fathers, have an important role to play. They can show their boys how to love and cherish their future wives through example in their own marriage.  Ephesians 5:25 claims that this is the marital responsibility of the husband to give sacrificially to his wife.  As Jesus sacrificed himself for us, there should be no sacrifice that a husband should not be willing to make for his wife (King James Bible study notes).   A sweet kiss in front of the kids, holding hands with her in the store, jumping in to help with the dishes, making a big deal over birthdays and Mother's Day.....all ways to show our boys how to love and cherish.

Mom's, teach your sons.....

My boys answer me with a "Yes, Mom" after being asked to do a task.  Not to fulfill my lifelong dream of being a drill sergeant but I want to show them that through their obedience and acknowledgement of me being their mother...a) not only is it respectful but b) it's also a way that they show that they love and cherish me through their compliance.  Opening and holding the door for me, their big sister, grandmas, aunts and women in general, is training them....to love and cherish.  Helping me to bring in the groceries, laundry from the line or other manual tasks....all training ground for loving and cherishing. Thank you cards, birthday cards, Mother's Day cards..........simple, but thoughtful ways to get boys involved and practicing for the day when they have a wife of their own, when loving and cherishing will continue on for another generation.

As I tucked the kids' cards in an envelope to send to their aunt, I noticed my sons card.  It had a verse written on it along with the happy birthday wishes.  When I asked him what made him choose that certain verse, he told me it was special to him and he found it when he was scared one night. Tears sprang to my eyes at his verse choice;  a verse on comfort.  He wanted to comfort his aunt knowing how sad, disappointed and downhearted she must feel about her forgotten birthday.  A valuable lesson learned in loving and cherishing.

I don't know when my sisters flowers will make it there. It hurts to know I failed her. But what I do know and what I cling to is that the Lord has other plans....better plans.... and they will arrive when He feels they need to.  His plans are different then ours (Isaiah 55:8)) and even though I love my little sister tremendously......He loves her more!  Through the pain of a birthday lost and forgotten, beauty arises from the ashes......lessons are learned afresh in the importance of loving and cherishing....a beautiful lesson from Home!