Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Burglars and Bats

He's gone.  My husband is off to Nebraska for work leaving the kids and I here home alone for the next few days to hold down the fort.  Yesterday, the day before he was to leave, a break in happened the next road over. Bad timing! Living in the middle of nowhere makes me a little nervous with this new development.  1/4 of a mile separates us from our neighbor to the right and our neighbor to the left is a whopping 1/2 mile away.  Not bad when you're out for a stroll to visit with the neighbors on a bird churpin', cloudless, bright, sunny day (or my personal preference, cloudy, dark and dismal.  Don't be alarmed, honestly, there's nothing wrong with me!) So, maybe you can see my predicament.  If anything goes wrong, our screams will go unheard. 

Hang on, my dilemma doesn't stop there.  Yesterday, Kris shushed the loud ramble of our family's usual chatter to crane his neck and examine the strange rustling and scratching sound coming from the kitchen ceiling.  The identity of this mystery critter was left unsolved leaving me to my own deductions as to who this creepy invader was making its home above my kitchen table.   My thoughts went through its mental file of all the worse case scenarios. It was a long file. There are a lot of creatures, critters and creepy crawlies that freak me out.  But there's one that stands out highlighted amongst all the others with the Hollywood credentials to back it up.  Bringing even the bravest of critter catchers on their knees and covering their heads in submission, the bat is the reigning king of terror in the realm of all things that make you go, "EEEEEKKKK!"  We've had several run-ins with bats at this Victorian farm house of ours.  Our last hiatus with this freaky, flying little monster left the family ducking and screaming (behind the protection of our big kitchen window on our side porch) leaving Kris, frustrated and annoyed by his family's insanity, to battle this zig-zagging, fast flying creature of terror all by his lonesome.

So, what on earth am I going to do if Stellalunia decides she wants to come down to play?  Well, I've already thought of that and I have the perfect plan in place.  I'm going to do nothing.  Really.  I mean, these spine-tingling flying rodents only come out at night, so during the day, we're golden.  When "Luna" wakes and comes down to the kitchen in search of a buggie snack, its all hers!  Kelsey taught me the last time how to move around successfully under the high flying noses of these creatures.  It involves getting as low to the floor as possible under the cover of a blanket.  It may be a little hard to breathe and t.v. viewing a little obscured but if it keeps Stella out of my hair, literally, I'm on board!

These next few days are going to be an adventure for this ship full of mates sailing on without our Captain, aka Head of the House, Big Cheese, Top Dog, King Dad.  He has to settle ruling his roost from miles away by cell phone.  As the sun sets, and thoughts of burglars and bats settle in my brain, I remind myself, someone with more seniority and a higher rank is on duty, 24/7.  My Jesus is here, vigilantly watching over my children and I as we sleep (or tossing and turning in my case!) promising to always be here.  He is my helper, I will NOT fear!  (Hebrews 13:5 and 6) Verse 6 ends with a phrase that brings a smile to my face, "What can man do to me?"  Burglars beware, I have a houseful of kids who are prepared to conquer with Ninja moves and Jedi jabs.  If he is brave enough to face my Lord and these battle ready kids, bring it on!  As with the bat.....I'll leave that one for Kris to handle when he gets home!

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